Planning pre-conceptions

link: On the fatherhood front, this report certainly provides some encouraging news. Specifically, 97% of the survey respondents said that fathers are just as important as mothers for the proper development of children, and 89% said that, all things being equal, it is better for children to be raised in a household that has a married mother and father.

Throughout this literary excercise, I am defining fatherhood as a planned activity. As time goes on there is less and less chance that being the father comes as a surprise somewhere down the track. Whether it be adoption, in vitro or regular conception, naivety is becoming less and less a factor, both as an educational trend and as technological and societal norms evolve. However, time and time again the act of deciding to becoming a father, or realising that you are going to be one is metaphorically "jumping off a cliff".

In my case, the pre-conception is in two stages
1) Committing to a long-term relationship in which children are both an option and workable. I call this "marriage", but the details will vary markedly between couples.

2) Deciding how much chance, opportunity and timing to apply when you roll the conception dice. That can be anywhere between just easing back on meticulous contraception to full blown temperature measurement, timing, skipping work etc. to insure the maximum probability of fatherhood the soonest.

The most important thing that won't change now or in the future, is that working unprotected sex into your couplehood is a win-win-win when you are committed to eachother and to the possibility of children.

Both in-vitro fertilisation and the adoption of babies from developing countries has been increased and improved. In the future, both will become so that any potential couple that want or need to go in that direction will be able to. It may become so reliable that some males will freeze some sperm and get the snip on reaching adolescence and they will completely rely on those techniques. This is such that they never have to feel they are jumping off a cliff. I prefer the jumping off a cliff, which is why I recommend everyone in my family never to actually take me to a real cliff.

It's that moment when you see that test kit change colour that feels like jumping off a cliff, no matter how planned/unplanned. It's a turning point in your life and the start of a new chapter. (end of chapter)